Caramelized Crimini Mushrooms & Texas Sweet Onions

You can prepare these separately as well, but if you're devious like me the aroma of the two items caramelizing together can send nearby gastrophiles into a strange pseudo-sexual food frenzy. Making minor alterations or additions to the process can result in nigh overpowering aromas of leg-quivering deliciousness. Below is the recipe at its most basic.

Stuff you'll need:
Sharp Knife & Cutting Board
Large Mixing Bowl
A large (12"+) high sided skillet or extra large griddle. Non-stick or well seasoned iron work best.
A dependably consistent heat source set very low
(Alton Brown has the perfect solution for the two items above, here.)
A high temp rubber spatula or good wooden spoon.
1/4 cup kosher salt
1/3 cup butter melted
1/3 cup Anointing Oil
5# Texas Sweet Onions (or Vidalia if you're lucky enough to have them available) peeled & sliced 1/4" or so
3# Crimini Mushrooms rinsed & sliced no thinner than 1/4" or so

How to do it:
       On the stove top (unless, of course, you've got one of Alton's fancy Electro-Skillets), preheat your pan to medium . In the large bowl toss together your onions, mushrooms, butter, oil, and salt until the shrooms & onions are well coated. Reduce your cooking heat to low (around 230-250(f) if you have precise control). In layers, fill your cooking surface from edge to edge until you've slightly over-reached capacity. Don't worry, the volume will reduce as your S&Os cook down, and if you were unable to fit some in the first time around you can slip them in during the first couple of turns. Now every ten minutes or so, for the next 45-90 minutes, stir up the whole pan real good and evenly redistribute everything back to the edges of the cooking surface. Once the mixture reaches a pale golden amber remove it from heat and allow it to cool. Keep it in the fridge for a week or so. Freezing it extends the shelf life dramatically.

Best thing EVER: Speaking of leg-quivering alterations.
More stuff you'll need:
A cookie sheet
Paper towels to line the cookie sheet. Use quite a few.
A large-mouth glass jar to reserve bacon drippings
2# Applewood smoked bacon sliced in to thin "bacon bit" strips
7 cloves of fresh garlic crushed (or 1/4 braised garlic puree' stirred in at the end)
2 tbls cracked black pepper
2 tbls of your favorite hot sauce

The Change-Up:
From the original recipe reduce the salt, butter, and oil by 1/2.
Over medium heat in/on your original cook surface, start by crisping the bacon, and pouring off the rendered fat into the jar as it begins to collect. Remove crisped bacon bits to the lined cookie sheet. Once all the bacon is crisp and removed, pour all but roughly 3 tablespoons of the fat off into the jar. Now, begin the original recipe. After the second turn of the S&Os stir in the crushed fresh garlic. After the fourth turn stir in the cracked pepper and hot sauce. After removing from heat stir in the bacon bits. Enjoy!